Now that the kids are settled into the new school year, it may be time to evaluate and see if it is time for some change. With each year, kids are older and more capable of taking on some additional things to be more independent and organized. I share this as our middle daughter starts her Senior year; the time goes by quickly and soon enough, they will be off to college, a full-time job, or whatever their path may be. Truth is, you aren't doing them any favors by making it so easy that they are lost when they are on their own.
I am not preaching, nor am I saying I had success with all of these 100%. It is a work in progress and can always be tweaked, but your children will thank you and you will be so proud of them when they can successfully manage as individuals in the big, wide world.
Here are some ideas that you can look at and consider for your child. I can't say it is based on age, as I know some who have kids doing a few of these at much younger ages than others.
1. Let them wake themselves up in the morning.
Yes, the first few days, you may need to check and be sure, but they can have an alarm clock and create a schedule that works for them. If they oversleep and miss breakfast, they will be more inclined to do it differently the next time.
2. Let them make and pack their lunch.
Kids can provide a list of the items they would like to have during the week so you can shop and have it available. They can pack their lunch the night before and put in the fridge so that it is ready in the morning. They know what they like and they can best gather it! I learned this lesson a few years ago after getting a complaint on what I packed. Hmm, I am just as busy, so no need for me to be doing something they can do!
3. Let them make their breakfast.
For the most part, in many homes, breakfast is on the go - a bar, a piece of fruit or a quick bowl of cereal. Time doesn't really allow for a fancy breakfast spread. Most kids can handle getting breakfast together for themselves, and again, we are really teaching them how to become more self-reliant.
4. Don't fill out the school forms, JUST sign them.
For middle and high school students, most are capable of filling out all of the demographic papers that need to be done (all 100 of them!) It is a good task for them to do and will save you the eye strain and wrist ache! You can look it over, sign it and hand it back to them. Soon enough they will be applying for jobs and you aren't going to do that for them, so let them practice!
5. Have them be responsible for their own laundry.
In our home, I will do laundry a few times a week. I am happy to do the kids' clothes if they bring them down and then sort and put away when I'm done. My kids all know how to do laundry, and on weekends they all do their own. If they need something done immediately, it is not my job - they can do that. The message to them is that they need to learn to plan and adjust accordingly. Why should their clothing emergency, become mine? Again, I am just as busy as they are, aren't you?
6. Let them do their own homework/projects.
It is theirs to do. If they need help, certainly offer that. But completing it for them isn't helping anyone. If the subject matter is not being understood, have your child ask for help from the teacher. This teaches a few things - how to ask for and seek help, as well as letting the teacher know the need for further guidance. Projects need time... what our role as parents can be is to offer a timeline of how they can complete it over the days allotted so they aren't up until midnight the night before.
7. Decide what to do about a forgotten form/project/lunch.
Make a plan with your kids... will it be once, twice, or not at all? We can't always rescue them; it is not teaching them the importance of learning to be organized.
8. Get them started managing a bank account/finances.
Some schools offer a bank on site from middle school and up. It is not a bad idea for your child to have an account. It is a great way to save and be aware of the money they earn with allowance or a job. Our kids should know that money comes from work and if there is no money in the account, they may have to wait until there is to get the item on their want list.
9. Set limits on after-school activities and assign chores.
I know many kids are involved in activities after school along with possibly volunteering. I come from the belief that kids cannot have so much on their plate that they cannot manage the chores that expected at home. The home they live in is where they are based and children of every age can contribute, and should. Whether it is setting the table, unloading the dishwasher, or walking the dog, they have to play a part. Social activities will be their number one desire and if they have time for that, they have time to pitch in too. They will thank you when they are parents and are expecting the same from their children.
These opportunities listed here will all help our children prepare for the real world. They will learn more quickly when they have to do without. They will gain confidence and skills by achieving success on their own. It will hurt you more than them, but the rewards will be great. We know our children best and many times we make things easier for them than we have to.
I hope you find these helpful and that the school year will be as calm, organized, and stress-free as possible.
Doing less IS helping more.
